Valentine Who?

I learnt a few weeks ago about a trend that is gaining traction called 'Me First', or 'First Me', or 'Put Me First'- which started in 2022 and went viral. Yes, it's predominantly owned by the youth, but hey, maybe they are onto something.

This post is for men and women. I know that men are often overlooked when it comes to romance and being sentimental.

It may be that being divorced has been the catalyst to live differently.

Last year I wrote about redefining your Valentine and I included a lot about children and feeling less alone and deconstructing the traditions that you had experienced. You can read my post from 2024 Re-design your Valentine's Day for some practical advice.

Valentine's Day 2025

This year I am suggesting realigning your self and revolutionising how you experience these really tough Hallmark dates during and post divorce.

Realign? Revolutionise?

Yes. It's time to pause, take a step back and dig deep. Take a really honest look at your life's twists and turns. See who you are, who you have been and who you want to be. What are the patterns you bring with you and are they working for you? Eg. Marie Kondo your reactive nature and ask how you could do things differently. You get to define what is on your list.

"Is this working for me?' instead of "Does this bring me joy?"

You couldn't change what you didn't acknowledge, and now you can. This is an ideal opportunity to make a difference for yourself. Write it all down so you can witness your thoughts. Often they can be grouped under one heading. Now pick one behavioural pattern that you believe you can commit to changing and put the rest aside.

This is your 'me first' project for 2025.

For some of you, 'me first' might be taken as an opportunity to splash out on a spa break, a holiday, a new set of golf clubs or something else. Maybe book the spa in a few weeks time so you aren't surrounded by romantic couples, or couples in general. If you can afford to, then by all means, enjoy.

Some of you might want to splash out and can't afford to, or don't have someone to care for the children. I was raised that if you can't afford to do something, then don't. I recommend opening your banking app and opening a savings account and name it whatever it is you are saving for. You will enjoy the experience more knowing it isn't putting you into debt. If you are tempted, maybe add 'my relationship with money' to your list?

I won't sugar coat it. It's not easy when your friends are out with their partner or sharing dinner with other couples. Some dates in the calendar will never be easy, and some will be less painful as time goes by. Be kind to yourself and those around you. Not everyone knows what you are going through.

If you want to share your story or you are a professional who wants to share some insights please email me at contact@angryexwife.com